
Well,
I don’t know what has gotten into me…
but I am going through some
ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.
I quit the mall job, it was too much. Was planning to work more at the garden center, BUT just quit that job this morning??!!
After they told me I could work more hours, 2 days later, they said they had gotten an email from the home office, and would have to cut back the hours??? I had already changed changed my whole schedule, quit the other job, and switched trainers so I could workout in the afternoon…so I just decided…I am tired of this. It was like that everyday. Do this, no, don’t do that. It was so confusing. Just happy to be done with it.
I am going to keep the job with the Town…for now.

More changes: Went to counseling with my husband yesterday, and at the advice of the counselor, we are going to separate. The counselor said it was not necessarily over, the marriage, but that we needed to be apart to work on somethings individually. Three months at least, but more like 6…but honestly, I am not sure we will ever be able to make it together.
Sad…and worried. Not sure how I will afford the house alone. I need a fulltime position. Something that will pay the bills and that offers benefits. I need to remember that I did it for so many years, so I can do it again! Been applying for jobs online for the last couple of days.
My son is coming home next week. I can’t wait to see him. It has been over a year since I have last seen him. The longest before that was 2 weeks at the most. So…I am really looking forward to it, but it is bittersweet…
He won’t stay in my home, because of the issues between my husband and myself. So he is staying with other family members. To say it crushed my heart, is putting it mildly…but I understand. He doesn’t like my husband because of the way he treats me…and he is right to be like that. At one point, my husband had said he would go…and let me be here alone, so my son would visit, but now he is saying “no, it is too expensive.”
Talked to my mom today and she got a call from my son last night, and she told me they made plans for him to stay there. It hurts.
My focus on losing weight is gone. The weight of the world seems to be all I can feel right now. TOM is here…and it is just a hard time for me. Told a friend recently that I have just given up on ever losing weight, and she said, “Then why are you still on Buddyslim?” I don’t know. I have lost the passion I once had for my time here. After the weirdness…things just don’t feel the same here. Everytime I write now, I am thinking…what is the freak going to do with this….
Sorry for the downer blog…but I am just very sad today.
