Becoming a Butterfly

He has called a couple times along the way.  Got a late start today.  He keeps apologizing…but I understand.  It is his first real road trip–in his own car.  6+ hours.  He is bringing his fiance, but dropping her at her dad’s before he gets home.

I am supposed to meet him at my mom’s, but now it is going to be soooo late, I wonder if I should just wait.  I miss him…but know he needs his sleep.   But he said…he really wants me there…

Someone I work with is VERY sick, and can’t work tomorrow from 1-6…so I told her (even though I asked for the time off) I’d work for her.  My son could meet me there and we could have dinner afterwards.   Now I am wishing I’d not agreed to work…but I felt so bad for her…and I thought my son and I would have the evening together.  Oh well…I trust God will work it out for us.

Washed, compounded, and waxed my car today.  Detailed the inside, cleaned the carpet/upholstery/windows…etc and shined up all the plastic.  It was WAY overdue!!!!  It was a blessing because it helped keep my mind off my son driving so far.  Now it looks and smells like a new car! 

While I was cleaning it…I was thinking about how bad my car looked…and how it had been neglected for so long.  Was thinking, “I am loving it…just like God wants me to love myself. ” My husband came out and helped me some, and we took it to a carwash and vacuumed it together.  When we were finished, he said, “Your car looks like someone loves it.”  Funny…he didn’t know what I had been thinking:)

Yesterday was stressful with my husband, but today we have been getting along better–he is being so helpful, but I know that we still need some time apart to get some healing…individually and as a couple.   I think he is starting to realize that his behavior has consequences.  AND what he is potentially going to lose when he is away from me.  It will be good for us both though to let the relationship rest…and see what happens.

Rumor has it that a full time position will be coming available at the Town.  I don’t know when or what…but I will hang on, and stick around.  I sure love the people there, and feel like it would be a good place for me.  

I have been applying for full time jobs like crazy.  AND I got a call from the local Small Business Association…I think.  My husband answered the call when I was at work…so he didn’t get all the details…she said I would know who it was…but I didn’t?  Oh well, I will call her back on Monday.

I have been eating what I want…but only when I am hungry.  Not over eating, but definitely not being careful about what it is.  Not quite back to my disciplined eating and exercising yet.  The scale is staying the same.  Been a little sad today wishing that I would have had more of a change in how I look since my son left.  I wish he could see all the work I did…and be proud of me:)  Oh well…maybe he will see a difference.