Becoming a Butterfly

All of you!  I feel better now.  I took the blog off…and hopefully, that will help the peace return!  You all know I love pictures…so I am going to post some that make me smile…Happy Friday!

Today was a busy one…seems like the busier I get the worse my food is.  No time for exercise either.

I met my mom and sister and we went to to the cultural arts building to see if it might work for their anniversary, and then to breakfast, where I got to treat.  I am working so much, I have extra money…and I LOVE to spend it on people I love!   It was a special day.

After that I went into work to help the art center market a concert coming up with the flyer I made for them.  (looked pretty good:)  Then straight from there to my hair appointment.  I am now a blonde.  Actually I am a more like a golden blonde…but definitely blonde.  It is strange…but kind of fun to have different hair. 

I had so much fun going along the downtown street marketing for the arts center.  I met the nicest people…and I bought some jewerly.  A necklace and a pair of earrings…they are beautiful!   I really live in a town like Mayberry.  (that is a picture of it above)

While I was at the hair stylists, I got a call from someone I work with asking me to work for her at the community center from 6-10…so I am here now.  Working with of my favorite people here.  He is a young 19 year old, that reminds me so much of my son.  He is “sexy” (he told me to write that:) seriously, he is a good guy and I feel blessed to be able to hang out with him.   He is soooo obsessed with my iPhone…and is begging me to get him one for his birthday (told you it was like being with my son:)

I ate french toast with a sausage link, a peice of bacon, grits, scrambled eggs and milk for brunch.  Then for dinner I had 4 slices of pepperoni pizza and a mini banana nut muffin too.  So, usually I have a bunch of small meals, and today I just had 2 large ones.  But I ate 2 peices of pizza and then waited, but still wanted more.  So I went for it.  And I do not feel too full.

The scale was down to 240 this morn…so that is good.  Tomorrow I guess I will see what it says!

Y’know, I had such a wonderful day…thank you to all that commented and sent me emails today.  You guys bring so much joy to my life, ((((hugs)))) 

Here is my street at night…

I LOVE seeing your comments. I mean…I really LOVE it!   I know this will probably sound strange…but I really love all of you so much.  I have been through so much on this site…like the devil really didn’t want me to stay…but, it is because of you that I am still here! I feel like each of your comments carry a peice of your heart and I just want to say thank you!

Biggest Loser was awesome!!!!   Some of the weight loss totals were amazing!  Their stories so powerful.  And I think I finally got everyone’s info entered…phew…we have 69 members…who knew it would get so big?

Today I got to worked at the Cultural Arts Center, and while I was there, I got a call from Coldwater, asking me if I’d like to work for them!!!  Said yes, and I start training on Sunday morning.   This will be a part-time position in the evenings from 5-9.   The pay is better than what I make at the Town, but not as good as I do as a plant lady…?

I asked the Art Center director if I could be paid more for my work as a graphic designer, and he said that not now, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t be eventually.  He said I have to prove myself, and that things have to go through the proper channels when you work within a town.  

Tomorrow my sister and mom will join me for breakfast, and then we will go to the cultural arts building to see if it would be a good place to have my mom and dad’s 50th anniversary in February.

It is so much fun planning for this party as a family.  So weird to think about my parent’s being married that long.  It is a long time to be with one person.  So many memories.  I have the tasks of:

• decorating (including the flowers, since I used to do some floral work),
• putting together a movie (which means going through all the old family movies, and photos…then putting them to music),
• being a part of our new family band we have put together just for the occassion, “The Legacy”

Excited about it…as long as I don’t get overwhelmed:)

I am tired, today I did all the biggest loser stuff, worked in the garden center, came home, took a shower, then rushed to the art building…afterwards home again to get dinner and watch biggest loser.  I am really tired.  Tomorrow I get to sleep in until 9:00am…Yeah!!!!

I am looking forward to that.

Good night buddies…thank you again…

and remember, no matter what people accuse you of, only God knows who you really are, only God can judge you!

I pray you will KNOW that this same God, loves you more than you could ever dream or imagine!!!!

Got a call today from the Cultural Arts Director (this is where I work sometimes…but would love to be there fulltime)…and he wants me to do some computer graphics stuff for them, starting tomorrow.  Brochures, flyers, and things like that…which will mean even more hours for me.  I really hope they will pay me more than I make now for that.  Sure would be a blessing!

The Biggest Loser Club is rocking and rolling…WOW…we have over 60 members.  Who knew there were so many fans out there?????   Lots of work to do tonight to be ready for tomorrow’s show!    Can’t wait though.  It is sooooo inspirational to see these people shed the fat…and become who they really are! 

Worked today, and it didn’t seem so hard today.  After I got home…there was an email from my supervisor at the garden center job, thanking me for my great work today.  That was nice…

I am feeling so blessed.

I met a friend for lunch and didn’t get the chips or fries…but WANTED something healthy…so chose the pasta salad to go with my sandwich.

On the way home I stopped to look at cell phones…and decided to treat myself to an iPhone.  Yes I did.   I am soooooo excited about it.  It can do so much.  My son works for AT&T…so now all my calls to him, to my home, to my mom, sister…etc…are free!  I got the unlimited web and texting…so…now I can get on buddyslim anytime!  Yeah!  I almost started crying I was so amazed by all the phone can do…

After I got my phone.  I went to Cold Stone…anyone have one of those in their town?  Well…let me tell you, it is just decadent.  But I did it anyway.  I decided to do it.  It wasn’t a compulsion.  I just wanted it.  So, I got a medium ice cream…with all the stuff I love in it.  Got home, and started eating it, and half way through…are you ready for this….?????

I WAS DONE!!!   I did not want anymore.  I felt sick.  So, I put the lid on and put it in the freezer.  WOW…this is really weird behavior for me.  This is C-H-A-N-G-E!    The scale isn’t moving, but my heart has changed.  My tastes have changed…my fitness level has changed!!!!   My desire to eat sweets…has changed…(I should mention that the ice cream was chocolate and TOM is here…so you can see it was almost a miracle:)

Thank you Father for your gifts to me.  I know they all come from you.  You are so loving and kind.  You give such perfect gifts!  I lift up all those that have signed up for the Biggest Loser Challenge.  Be with us all as we seek to change and be more healthy…Give us a unity and a spirit of encouragment for one another.  Do in us, what we cannot do without you…in Jesus’ precious Holy Name…Be Glorified…Amen!

at my manual labor job. 

Today I walked away scratching my head.   They ask me to do something, or tell me not to…then the next day they do it themselves or tell me to.  It is weird.  

But, the supervisor today did say that I did a good job on something he gave me to do.  I had to move all the TREES….yessssss trees…  Oaks, maples, apples, pears, peach, cherry…etc.  Then water them.  The water valve is behind a shelf…so I have to crawl on my knees to get turn it on and off.   The hose felt like the heaviest watering hose EVER…and I had to hand reel it out and up…no spool with a handle…nope.   Am I being whiney?  
Guess I am just tired.  

I worked hard today.  It was in the 90s.  Came home and took a nice long shower and got into my pjs.  I am exhausted.  My feet still hurt from yesterday, where I worked with the town from 7-8:00pm.  I was soooo sleepy when I got home.  Still did not get enough sleep.   TOM is here and today has been a bad day.  So I am zapped…fried…just go ahead and stick a fork in me…I am done.

Ready for a nap.

I had fun yesterday with the town seniors.  It WAS a beautiful place!  I took 300+ pics.  I know, I know…I am a bit of a shutterbug.   Digital photography just rocks!  Love it.  So glad I bought my camera.

I will post some pics soon…just not today…well, maybe tonight.  

Food has been good, but not writing it down right now.  It gets so old doing that.  I know it is important….but I just get tired of it.  I KNOW I am getting enough exercise….so maybe the scale will start moving again soon!  

Have a blessed…restful day!

Worked at the garden center…came home, made dinner, relaxed.  Talked to some very special friends.  Life is good!  Do not miss the drama…nope…not one bit.  Can’t says I do.

I got a call and was asked if I would like to go on the Senior Citizen’s trip with the town parks and rec dept.  I said, “Let me get this straight, you mean spend all day with a group of sweet seniors on a road trip…all while being paid…going someplace I have been dying to see.  Then out for lunch??? Count me in…sounds like fun!”

We are going somewhere I have really been wanting to see.  Arlie Gardens in Wilmington, NC–it is on the coast…and some other places (like out to eat:).  I just went to the website to get a pic to show you…and I saw they have a BUTTERFLY HOUSE Exhibit!!!!  OMgoodness…in case you didn’t know, I love me some butterflies!!!!   How cool is that?  I DID NOT know that!  Wow…thank you Lord!

http://www.airliegardens.org/event_detail.asp?id=266  this tells more about it.  Wow!  I am definitely taking my camera!

here is one thing I really want to see, it is a wall made of bottles.  The bottle chapel.  Already I see a butterfly AND a rainbow!  yeah!!!!

  It is a beautiful garden!

Well, I have to be there at 6:30…and we have to leave at 7:00am, so I better get ready to go to bed.  Want to go ahead and shower…so I can take a quick one in the morning! 

oh yeah…about weight loss…I better talk about that huh?:)   I weighed late in the day and the scale is down 2, but it was getting up there…so they are among the same 8 that I lose and regain.  I sure hope this new diet of manual labor…combined with consistent cardio and personal training will bring some changes in my weight!  

So far TOM has not been too bad this go around.  I just started taking a lot of suppliments…so maybe there was a difficiency?   

I was supposed to work the garden center tomorrow…but I called them and they were completely flexible.   I will come in and work on Sunday then, even though I wasn’t planning on it.  So it all worked out! 

Hope everyone enjoys their Saturday.  I will be off line all day until later in the evening!

Blessings…and may God send you butterflies to remind you of His love, joy and peace!

Ah…the fragrance of a new morning, new beginnings…clean air…

So precious isn’t it?

Thinking of an old Elton John song…like this part, for some reason…and it seems especially sweet to me today.

Sweet freedom whispered in my ear
You’re a butterfly
And butterflies are free to fly
Fly away, high away, bye bye

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Yesterday was my first day of my new job, the manual labor one.  I LIKED it.  It was rainy, all the plants were nasty and wet…but, there is something about working hard that just makes me feel good inside.  Thinking about how much more active I will be now…just with these extra hours of working hard added to my day.   Maybe it will be the extra push I need to get the scale moving.

My friend  enemy TOM is here…  He sure is a pain in the butt, and back, and head…etc.  In my readings about Insulin Resistance and not losing weight, it turns out that taking a progestrogen only pill causes you to also be unable to lose weight.  Another thing I have been doing.  So, I am officially looking for another form of birth control.  I would love any suggestions.  I have  really bad periods…hope that is not TMI…but as I have gotten older, they have really gotten bad.  Heavy and debilitating.

Had my interview too, with Coldwater Creek, for a partime associate…and they asked me in the interview if I would be interested in managment??!!!   Ah…yes!!!!!   I really love that store, and their product.    She said I was just the type of person they looked for, for managment.  WOW!   That blessed me. 

Why?   Well, when I was younger…I went to schools where there were girls that were much richer than my family.  They always had the nice clothes, took classes like ballet, gynastics…etc.  Stuff my family could not afford.   I ALWAYS felt like I could not afford to have the clothes all the other girls had.  I also never knew how to dress myself.  I worked from the time I was 16…and I used to use my $ to buy clothes…to try and be like the “rich, popular” girls. 

But, all the clothes at Coldwater, are just beautiful to me.  They are classy, but artsy…and what I consider to be expensive…but if they hire me, I will get a 40-50% discount…and imagine all I will learn about fashion!!!!????

All just another part of me becoming the butterfly God created me to be.

I love my job with the Town, and will keep it!   Wish they had something full time to offer me…but there is no telling when that will happen.   Coldwater said they will work with my current schedule, AND that the hours I am available seem to be exactly what they are looking for.

God is good!   He is a redeemer!  He gives us Beauty for Ashes!  He lifts us from the mirey clay and sets our feet upon a Rock.  He is Love!    He is our shield, our strong tower.  Blessed be His name above all names.   He is Peace in the midst of the storm.  He is Jehova-Jireh….my provider…and I will praise His Name for all eternity!

I so look forward to the day that all the saints will stand before Him and behold His Glory and sing praises to His Name.  How wonderful it will be to see all nations, tribes and generations before Him, knees bent, worshiping the Lamb that was Slain as the Perfect Sacrifice to cover ALL our sins!  Haleluiah!   Have a blessed day and remember, God loves you!

We got a new storm door…and had it installed this week.  The old one was installed the wrong way (yes I did it myself) and now the new one opens from a different side, the correct one:)   My poor doggie (who looks like this one) keeps going to the other side, and standing there.   When I open the door for him…he keeps waiting for the old side to open.

It is funny to watch.  Feel bad for him though.  I have to go outside and show him the new route…everytime.  Calling doesn’t work…just the showing.

He always wags his tail and follows me, but I am wondering how long it will take to teach this old dog a new trick…so to speak.

It got me thinking about the habits I have with food. 

I am having an especially trying week.  TOM is knocking at my door and I am having some struggles in my personal life.  My old way is to go and open the fridge…to run to the brownies…get out the half gallon and a spoon…etc. 

Tonight I went down that familiar path and made muffins, then had 4 of them.   They were chocolate chip and I added walnuts.   Why did I do this? 

It is an old habit, like an old friend that is always there to comfort, numb and soothe me.  It is a well worn path, the way I have gone, for so long.  But if I keep going to the same side, following the same ol’ pathway, just like my doggie…I will never get to the place I really want to go!

Tomorrow I start my new job at the garden center.  I went earlier this week, but the manager did not realise I had to be in the timeclock computer before I started, so he sent me home.  He is being so nice and flexible with me.  Said he will give me as many hours as I want…etc.  

Sat down tonight and worked on my schedule.  I decided to schedule my workout times in, the same time everyday.  My gym is right beside my new part time job, so I will just go from the job to the gym…everyday I work.

Just out of curiosity, I have an interview tomorrow for another part-time job.   Someplace I love to shop, just want to see what they could offer me for the evenings when I am not working for the town.

Hope everyone has a great day…and learns some new tricks that will help them find a new path that leads them where they really want to go!

Blessings!

Today is 9/9/08…and symbolically, that is what that means.

I am a Christian and I love symbols.  The number 9 is a good one in the bible.  There are nine fruits and nine gifts of the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit is a person of the trinity, still God, just the Spirit of God.  When Jesus rose from the dead He sent the Holy Spirit to the disciples on the day of Pentecost.  He came like a mightly rushing wind, and landed on each of them like a tongue of fire.  Then they all began to speak with a new tongue.  (in the book of Acts) Kinda cool if you think about it.  I have had this experience and it is incredibly beautiful.   Now I can speak to God in my special prayer language anytime I want, or need to.

I know the Holy Spirit, sense His presence and have several gifts by Him.   I can talk to Him spirit to spirit which is awesome.  Sometimes I know what I my spirit is saying, and other times I don’t.  I have prophecied in a tongue to a whole congregtion, and then had someone else interpret it, or interpreted it myself.  What is cool about it is God will use it to encourage the pastor, and the congregation.  A lot of times the “word” I get comes before the message, but goes along with the message…but I have no way of knowing what the pastor is planning to speak about.  That is the wonder of it, that makes people’s faith level go up!

When God wants me to give a prophecy in a group setting, it is strange.  I get a strong desire to speak very loudly…and my heart starts beating like crazy.  I know it is God.  And afterwards, His presence is so strong…I just want to be very still and worship Him in my heart.   I usually begin to weep because of the intimacy with God…and how it humbles me.

Another gift I have is the ability to “sense”, “feel”, and “know” spirits.  It is called the discerning of spirits.  I can be beside someone and know the sin they are entangled in.  I can also be at the Walmart shopping and know the lady beside me loves Jesus because I feel His presence on her. (this has actually happened several times:)  I said to her, “Wow, you love Jesus?”  And she said, “How do you know?”  I told her I could feel His Holy Spirit around her.

I hear songs too…in the spirit.  And I sing them back to the Lord.  Sometimes I know what it is about and sometimes I do not.   Sometimes when I pray, God gives me songs for people individually….and I sing them over them.   In my quiet time I hear God singing songs to me. 

I have prayed for people and seen God use me powerfully.  People have gotten slain in the spirit, I have seen demons come out of them, and even seen God heal them.  One lady had been to 14 doctors, and they couldn’t help her, but when I prayed for her…God healed her.  AMAZING!

The stories I could tell you.  The joy that I have seen on the faces of the newly healed and delivered.  It is beyond words…

God has called me to be an Evangelist.  Evangelists can have this type of gifting to confirm the word of God being preached to them. 

Why am I telling you all of this?  I really don’t know.  Saw the date and it made me think of fruit, gifts and new beginnings…I started to write about fruit being good for you…

I am not trying to offend anyone…just being totally honest with who I am.

Today I am feeling especially weak and wanted to encourage myself that God has a purpose for me…a plan…a work.

The Nine Gifts of the Holy SpiritGod has given His people nine mighty gifts of the Holy Spirit to enable them to mature spiritually, edify others, and do the work of the ministry. Although these gifts of God are perfect, the manifestation of these gifts are sometimes not so perfect because they are manifested through an imperfect channel: men and women.However, perfect or imperfect, it is still God’s will that the Church have all of the gifts of the Holy Spirit in operation and that every believer be open to the working of these gifts in their life. Under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, the Apostle Paul confirms this statement when he exhorted God’s people by writing: “That in every thing ye are enriched by him, in all utterance, and in all knowledge; Even as the testimony of Christ was confirmed in you: ‘So that ye come behind in no gift;’ waiting for the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ.” (I Corinthians 1:5-7). Therefore, these gifts are not only essential for spiritual maturity and ministry, but they also prepare you for Christ’s return.The gifts are the spiritual senses of the Church. Just as we have five physical senses that allow us to function in the natural realm (world), so we also have nine gifts of the Holy Spirit (the “spiritual senses”) that enable us to function properly in the spiritual realm.These gifts are identified in I Corinthians 12:8-11

“For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit; To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit; To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discering of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues: But all these worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will.”

These nine gifts can be broken down into three categories:

Revelation Gifts - gifts that reveal something Word of Wisdom Word of Knowledge Discerning of Spirits   Power Gifts - gifts that do something Faith Healings Miracles   Inspiration Gifts - gifts that say something Prophecy Diverse Tongues Interpretation of Tongues

There are nine fruit that come from God, but is something that has to grow in us.   We can’t make it happen.  Unlike a gift which is given…fruit has its seasons and has to go through them to become.  Fruit is refreshing, good for those who eat it, and beautiful to behold.  The aromas and colors are breathtaking.  Watching the flowers blossom in the spring and seeing the fruit grow until the day it is harvested is a wonder.   Prunning causes the vine to be more productive.

I have heard it said: you know how many seeds are in one apple, but do you know how many apples are in one seed?  One tiny peice of fruit could become an orchard, isn’t that amazing?

Also, one bad peice of fruit can spoil the whole basket…sad but true.   God says we can know people by their fruit and asks us to be fruit inspectors.  

Fruit of the Spirit - Visible Growth in Jesus Christ
“Fruit of the Spirit” is a biblical term that sums up the nine visible attributes of a true Christian life. Using the King James Version of Galatians 5:22-23, these attributes are: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. We learn from scripture that these are not individual “fruits” from which we pick and choose. Rather, the fruit of the Spirit is one ninefold “fruit” that characterizes all who truly walk in the Holy Spirit. Collectively, these are the fruits that all Christians should be producing in their new lives with Jesus Christ.

Fruit of the Spirit - The Nine Biblical Attributes
The fruit of the Spirit is a physical manifestation of a Christian’s transformed life. In order to mature as believers, we should study and understand the attributes of the ninefold fruit.

My kitty will meow and meow when he is ready to play.  And he plays hard!  Jumping, running, boxing, aerobics…etc.  My husband is playing with him now and he is jumping up on the couch, off the couch running up and down the floor…chasing a little toy that is attached to a fishing rod.   I told my husband he is the kitten’s personal trainer.   LOL 

It is so neat to see how much he loves to exercise…and play.  He was created like that.  Just like kids.  They just love to run and climb…etc.  When did I lose that joy for exercise?

Tomorrow I am taking a BodyPump class with my trainer, this is our first “bonding” time.  I am excited and also nervous about it.  I always feel bad after I speak my mind, and I don’t know how it will be between us now.

We had plans to go to a class last week…but she had to cancel.  So…tomorrow hopefully she will be there.

I have been thinking about the “manual labor”  job that I decided I didn’t want, and I am thinking…maybe I do want it after all.  (silly me;) I think I am going to ask if they could use me for 4 hours at a time.  That way I won’t get too worn out…and I will get paid to exercise too.   I am going to call the manager tomorrow and see if that will be agreeable to him.

Also called Coldwater Creek and they are hiring for the Christmas season.  I love that store, so I think it would be fun to work there part time too. The job I have with the Town is great, but…they cannot give me enough hours…so I have to think about myself…and what is best for me.

I am feeling a new surge of excitement for my journey…that I am going to do it.  Really do it.  That even though the scales aren’t moving…doesn’t mean they won’t.  Also wanting to get very serious about training for this 5k coming up in Nov.  I want to jog the whole way…and THAT isn’t going to happen, unless I start working a plan.

Have a great Monday and go rediscover the love for exercise inside of you!!!!!