The choice is yours
Yesterday, when I went to get my hair done, I met Mohammad my new stylist for the first time. He had a great smile and a joyful disposition. Interestingly, he was in booth 316.
I showed him the pics I brought on my laptop…so he could see what I wanted. He said it was completely doable. So we got started. He worked with the skillful hands of an experienced stylist. We chatted and shared. He told me about his kids and wife…and I showed him pictures of my family on my laptop. We were just 2 people sharing.
He asked how my husband and I met and I told him at church…so our conversation went there. He is a Muslim…I had figured he was. He told me his beliefs and we compared notes. There were things similar in our beliefs…but things VERY different too. But we were polite and kept our conversation centered around, “God is so good.” And how important “faith” is in our lives.
I told him that I was changing my hair to please my husband…and he seemed to appreciate that. Then he then told me that his wife had divorced him not too long ago. You could see the sadness in his face. He said he hadn’t been able to talk about it for a full year afterwards. Wow… I asked, how will he meet a new woman…and he said, they don’t date, but meet through relationships. He lives a very morally strict life.
There was one point in our conversation, where there was some tension…I told him, I didn’t know much about what a Muslim believed…but I knew that I wouldn’t like to wear something to cover up my hair. It looked like it would be hot, and I like to feel the wind blow through it. Then I told him that I believed I was ok with whatever he believed, that he should be free to believe whatever he wanted…but not force it on another. God would never take away someone’s free will. He wants children to love Him because they choose to…not because He forces them to.
I said, “You wouldn’t try to force me to be a Muslim would you?” He got quiet…and looked down. Then he said, “That is hard, because you want to share what you believe.” But then I said, “But you wouldn’t try and force me to be a Muslim would you?” He never said…but I asked him, ”don’t you want your children to love you because you are a good father to them…you wouldn’t force them would you? What joy would there be in that?”
I said all that to say that we can’t force things in our lives. Relationships, our religious beliefs…or even another’s weight loss. We are all on our own journey, and we should be able to do it the way we want to. We were created with rights…like freedom to choose or not to. It is respectful to leave people alone and not use manipulative tactics to try and get our way….no matter how good what we think we are doing is. God is that way. As a Christian, I believe that Jesus submitted himself to God and became a servant…He said, “Not my will, but yours be done.” Our will is ours and we can give it, or not. It is our choice. But no one should ever take that away. People should also be allowed to blog here about anything they want to. But, they should not force themselves, their beliefs…or their will on anyone.
Much of my weight issues are centered around people doing this very type of thing to me. Playing games…manipulative, controlling, prideful people that abused my will. I hate it and I am incredibly sensitive to it. I had boyfriends that would cheat on me and then when I caught them, they would somehow play the victim and try to make it out like I was the villain. Well, believe me…I see through those lies now. And I do not play into it. It is unhealthy and hurts people. It is wrong.
- If you don’t like someone here…guess what? there are plenty of others to play with.
- If you can’t say something nice…then don’t say anything at all.
- If a blog offends you…then stop reading it.
- If someone comes to you and they are offended by you, then keep it between the two of you and not make it the subject of your next blog. It makes everyone uncomfortable…
- If someone pulls away from you…that is their choice…so leave them alone…and go on with your own life. Let it go and move on.
- But never ever tell someone they do not have a choice, or take away their freedom…I believe that is a right we all have been given and we should respect it!
http://www.buddyslim.com/images/userimages/15794/2nug1wvfqr82.jpg
to see a pic of my new do!
Amen girl…you rocked that blog. I really liked not only how respectful of each others beliefs that ya’ll were…now seriously..how awesome was that?
As for that last section…you nailed it. Cause you know what..it dont have to be a big drama..you have a way with words girl and I am sure more than just me will agree you rocked it!
Love Debbie
I agree completely with Debbie…you have a way with words lady!! That is the way God intended it…for us to choose for ourselves…and it is a travesty when someone tries to take that choice away…
Does this style you are choosing please you as well as your husband? Just curious. I hope it is for you too.
Beautiful in mind, spirit and body…. Have a healthy, happy weekend Chrisie.
Enjoy your weekend Chrisie and don’t forget to have some fun!
honestly, at first I did want to change my hair…but then I started looking at women with light hair, and I really thought it was pretty.
So I figured, what the hay…you only live once and if my hubby likes it, then what could be wrong with trying to please him!? If I don’t like it, I can always change it back.
I wear certain types of outfits he likes (AND I like) to please him, but I still buy the wild artsy stuff that makes me happy too (that he doesn’t care for)!
He loves me and wants me to be free…he didn’t force me to change my hair…it was my choice!
oh yeah, meant to also say…
it really did make him feel loved that I chose to do that for him!
Thoughtful and very personal blog Chrisie.
I wanted to add this definition of tolerance:
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
tol·er·ance Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[tol-er-uhns]
–noun 1. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc., differ from one’s own; freedom from bigotry.
2. a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from one’s own.
3. interest in and concern for ideas, opinions, practices, etc., foreign to one’s own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint.
4. the act or capacity of enduring; endurance
Very good blog Chrisie. Great job!
Holla!!!!!!!!!!! Your conversation with Mohammed was interesting and eye opening. You were totally on target and very respectful with your opinions and conversation. God wants HIS children to come to Him without being forced. He’s there just waiting to embrace any child that comes to Him. I’m so amazed at your conversation and the ‘testimony’ of how wonderful our Father truly is. Thank you for sharing sister!!!!!!!!!
It is a testament of your faith that you were able to have such a frank, honest conversation with a Muslim. Girl, you totally rock!!!
I applaud you for this blog! I cannot tell you how very much I loved everything that you talked about here. You so hit the nail on the head with this one. I am so thankful for you and your eloquent way with words. ***HUGS***
Wow, this was a very strong blog….you obviously feel strongly about the issue and I for one, respect that. You’re right, what’s the point of forcing someone to be something they are not? It will only come back to bite the oppressor in the….well, you can figure it out. I wish I could say more but your blog was well written and OH MY, can I relate. I can only say WOW!!
Great blog Chrisie. Not being christian the faith comments on this site can sometimes be overwhelming, and occasionally a little off putting. That said, I respect everyones beliefs. I think you summed it up just right!! And I think the bullet points would be good groundrules for all of us on this site! Have a great weekend. Look forward to seeing the pics of your new hair!! (((HUGS)))
Peaceful and tolerant…Just what I look for in people to surround myself with. Great blog, Chrisie…as usual.
Tammy
You’re a gifted writer Chrisie. Awesome blog with a wonderful message. And woot on the new hair. Do we get pics??
what a great story and so timely. thanks for sharing that plus the advice. glad to hear the hair is for you and him! pics?
there is a pic on my page:) It is fuzzy…tried to take it with my timer…so couldn’t get the right focus…but you can see the color…and new style!
I think the new hair looks beautiful, but you are beautiful anyways no matter how you wear your hair! I loved your blog and I feel the same way. I believe that God shines thru us from our example and sometimes that’s the best way to carry the message. I think you did an excellent job with this blog as it was beautiful, well written and very truthful! I loved it!
I always feel grumpy when people try to manipulate me into doing what they want me to — if it is my choice, then it is awesome — but manipulation just gets my goat!!
thanks for sharing, as always a great blog!
Love, love, love your new hairdo!
Also, I re-read my comment above and don’t like the way it sounds. What I meant to say was that it is a testament to your faith that you were able to talk so openly with someone of a different faith. But, I know you know what I meant. :o)
Again, this blog is awesome girl! I know that you know how this blog affected me and I am thankful for you my buddy.
All I can say is….Halleliuah, thanks for putting this out there, Chrisie.
I don’t think I’ve ever read a blog of yours that I didn’t like. You’re a special, wonderful person inside and out, and a great buddy too.
I love the hairstyle, by the way. It looks great!
Isn’t it fun to learn about other people and their faith? I have a really good friend at work who is a muslem, and we enjoy talking comparing our beliefs, and seeing all the things that we actually have in common. It’s a great learning experience, and it’s fun to see what makes people the way they are.
Anyway, thanks for the wonderful blog, and have a happy weekend, my friend.
Great blog Christy! I love the quote, “Your life is yours alone, Rise up and live it” and it has an impact on my life because I believe in free will and that we are all responsible for our actions.
hmmm who is fighting on here? I can’t believe people would. Always love your blogs.