Becoming a Butterfly

Tonight I went to the gym late, but I did go. 

When I got there my friend, the receptionist, right away said, “Your hair?”…oh no, that noticable?  She said it looked good.  She is 20…so I guess that is a compliment.  

She started telling me about her NEW love interest…it seemed that just the other day she was telling me about her fiance’.   We somehow turned the conversation to her tatoos…she has 5 and multiple peircings too… she showed me her belly button one…and how she can pull on the one in her tongue and it doesn’t hurt.

She wanted to chat, so I said, come hang out with me while I work out. 

This new man in her life is 28…and just broke up with his girlfriend that he used to live with…she filled me in on all of it.   Evidently he is a real hunk…

But then she said, “see that guy over there, he is kinda cute isn’t he…the one in the black hat?”   He was staring at her and she blushed and then laughed.

Her mind went back to the new guy, then she realized that she had left her phone at the front desk and took off running to get it, because he said he might call her.

As she was gone I turned on the TV and what was on the screen…but Pretty Woman, the movie.  It was the scene where she got to go shopping, and buy all those clothes…and then walk back in to the one shop that was so rude to her and say, “Big Mistake.”   She looked so confident…and polished.   Proud.  

My friend came back and she pulled up a pic of him on her cell phone and showed me.  Yes he was cute…in a cocky arrogant sorta way.  While she was on her myspace she said, gross, “my dad’s mood is “horny”…I did not need to see that. ”  I was just listening…and looking at her.  She is so beautiful.  I mean gorgeous.  Long dark hair, dark eyes with long lashes, a beautiful petite size 1 body…and young olive skin.  So pretty!!!!    I was listening to her, and thinking…does she know how incredibly beautiful she is?  

I asked, “Do the men flirt with you all the time here?”  She said, “You don’t even know.”  

But I do, or I should say I did.  I was her in my 20’s always looking for that next boyfriend, throwing myself at men.   Letting them use me and discard me.  I had no self esteem…although now I see I was beautiful.  People would tell me all the time.  I remember thinking…I wish they would stop saying that.  I didn’t believe it.

She talked some more about all the partying she had been doing, but trying to quit smoking and how she is already having sex with this new guy…and about all the men she has been out with since she broke up with her fiance in March (but they were together when I started going there in May)…

Just looked at her and listened.   Wanted to scream…stop it, stop it!!!!   Do you know how incredibly beautiful you are and that you do not have to do this.  There is a Man that will love you perfectly.   Do not give yourself away to these men!!!!

But I couldn’t, I just listened.

She went back to the desk and I started watching the movie again.  I started crying.  It was the part where he and she are laying in bed, being real and talking, and she is telling him how she became a hooker, and how she had low self esteem. 

Vivian: People put you down enough, you start to believe it.
Edward Lewis: I think you are a very bright, very special woman.
Vivian: The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?  

I remembered years ago, going to counseling after I had given my life to the Lord, and my counselor said to me.  I want you to watch Pretty Woman and come back and tell me what she realised.  I watched it, and I cried.  I bawled.  I wept.  I realized that she always was that Pretty Woman…she just didn’t know it.  She had something valuable to give that man.   I remember the last part when he wanted to keep her as a side thing,

Vivian: When I was a little girl, my mama used to lock me in the attic when I was bad, which was pretty often. And I would- I would pretend I was a princess… trapped in a tower by a wicked queen. And then suddenly this knight… on a white horse with these colors flying would come charging up and draw his sword. And I would wave. And he would climb up the tower and rescue me. But never in all the time… that I had this dream did the knight say to me, “Come on, baby, I’ll put you up in a great condo.”  

Finally, she had realised how valuable she was and she said, “no, I want it all.”   Because for the first time in a long time she had self worth!   His love had shown her who she really was.

I finished my workout and waited until the young man with the black hat left…and I walked her out.  I wish I could take her shopping and to the opera.  I wish I could shower her with the same Love that washed away all my sins.  The stains that men left behind.  I wished she could have just one drink from His water so she would never thirst again.  But we just got in our cars…then she asked me if I had a lighter…I said “no…and don’t you stop by the gas station on the way home either.”  She said ok with a giggle, then we started our cars and drove away.

See you later pretty woman!

You know I love butterflies right…well…as I am writing this…I am listening to the tv Christian music channel…and guess what just came on…”Butterfly Kisses”. Don’t tell me there isn’t a God and He doesn’t care about each and everyone of us!? The line in the chorus: “Precious butterfly, spread your wings and fly.”   Read my last blog and you will see how amazing this is.  I wrote that hours ago!