Feeling sad tonight
And tired.
Hubby had second interview…he is nervous about it and not as hopeful. Too corporate he says…
He came home right about the time I got home from the hair appointment. I went out to meet him at the car and he just looked so dissapointed in the way my hair looked and then he said something negative…
I just got sad and mad. I always try to please him, but never feel like I can.
I think the biggest problem is I know he always dreamt of marrying an athletic blonde girl one day with blue eyes…and I am an out of shape, fat, dark brunette with dark brown eyes…who never wanted light hair.
Today I was trying to please him…by going lighter…He liked the photos I picked, but with what they actually did he wasn’t pleased with at all. It wasn’t what I wanted either…
So I cried. He has a way of making me feel incredibly inadequate…and not good enough. Then he called the salon and demanded they fix my hair back and refund all our money. I know he was trying to help…but it didn’t.
I liked going to the salon and hanging out with everyone. They are nice people…but now…I will not ever go back. I hate that…I hate that kinda thing. I would have just let it go…and moved on…but my husband has no problem complaining and confronting.
Oh well…being married stinks sometimes.
Actually…when I stop and think about it…it is all men. All my life they have hurt me, rejected me, cheated on me, disapproved of me, made me feel like crap and lied to me…
I guess today…that look in my husband’s eyes brought up some stuff inside of me that still hurts.
Didn’t exercise today…was going to…but too zapped after the whole hair deal. Just wanted to get dinner and go to bed!
Awww girl, I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m sorry for all of it. Look, if you really don’t like your hair then either go back to that place or go somewhere else but you get what you want. Why do men have to do some of the things they do? It’s not like you are calling all his friends and telling them bad things about him so why did he have to make a fuss? Gee whiz girl. I wish I could give you a hug and I while I was there I would give your husband a shameful look. And then he’d probably throw me out. lol Just trying to make you laugh girl.
Do YOU like the hair…honestly?? Or did you start to dislike it when he disapproved. My husband is never happy with my hair. He likes me to change it all the time like I did in College but I’m afraid the crazy hair days are gone so he just has to deal with it. What’s all this self-hating going on here? If your husband wanted a skinny blonde, he would have married her…not you. He’s just annoyed about the job and you got in the way. It sucks…I don’t excuse him for it…but when you’ve both calmed, try to talk it out. Now, chin up and less of this negativity. Smile. Have you ever tired to stay mad and force yourself to smile? Aparently (yeah, I read a lot of crap), smiling releases a hormone that cheers you up so if you force up those lips and bunch those cheeks, you will instantly start to feel a little better!!
Chrisie…do NOT let that man make you feel like that! I know how you feel though…sometimes I think that men have no idea how what they say and do affect us. Sometimes we just need them to not try to fix things…just let them be broke and be there for us while they are broke.
Chin up girl - tomorrow is another day…come up with a plan to do to your hair what you want and your hubby can kiss your ever shrinking behind okay? LOL
Bug hugs from me!!!
Chrisie, so sorry about your day. No fun to have a bad hair day and have to deal with someone else’s stress on top of it! And sorry about all the crap that has come back up because of it! Turn off those tapes and throw them away. That’s over and done with. Focus on tomorrow! The beauty of tomorrow is that it is a Present for you, a gift,an opportunity to reset your life and make things different from the day before. If you really hate the color, go back and have them change it - they will because they want to keep your business. But if you like it, then who cares what hubby thinks. It’s your head after all! He’ll get used to it.
My mother used to make a bid deal out of my hair as well. No matter what I did, it was never right. The color was wrong, the cut awful, too masculine etc. Her favorite comment was “why do you insist on looking like a boy!” I’d look at my boobs and my butt and say “I don’t look anything like a boy!
Finally one day, I told her my hair was off limits. Didn’t care what she thought - good or bad - I wasn’t interested in what she had to say. It was my hair and I was going to wear it how ever I wanted to wear it! She looked a little shocked but hasn’t said a bad word about my hair since.
I guess that’s a round about way of saying that you need to take care of you in this situation and forget all the crap your husband and other folks have said or done to you. You and your feelings are all that matter here.
Sending you a big hug!
Greta
I can’t add to the comments or great advice but just wanted to send you hugs. And next time you go to get your hair done - buy yourself a bright pink wig, walk back in your house and tell your hubby that this is the new you and he has no say in it - bet it’ll be the last time he tells you he doesn’t like your hair!! Hey you gotta have some fun sometimes. Keep Smiling Chrisie, you’re beautiful whatever your hair colour!
Wish I could just reach out and give you a hug, girl!
Men, I know my hubby can make me feel like that. I don’t think it is on purpose. My hubby is going through a lot with his job. Big company buy out and not sure what his job is going to be or if he is going to have a job. Some days he comes home and everything he says hurts and I try not to take it personal. I also don’t get why men try to fix things that is not theirs to fix! If you like that hair salon I would go back and have them fix it if it is not what YOU like. I am sure they will understand it was your hubby’s complaint not yours. Love ya, girl! Chin up!
Big HUGS!
I’m with these wonderful ladies. I hope today is a better day for you and maybe like these guys suggested…it wasnt about the hair…it was about the job situation…whatever it was…maybe you and hubby can talk it out today. I also need a little time if hubby upsets me or pisses me off. Catch girl..sending hugs and love your way..
Love Debbie
Yep today is a NEW day…so try not to let yesterdays sad night bring you down today. Sending you hugs and a HAPPY & BLESSED DAY.
Chrisie, BIG to you. I think that men can be cruel sometimes….they do not stop to think what they are doing or saying effects the person they are doing/saying it to. Sometimes they do it bc it makes them feel better to make you feel bad. If you like your hair, then he just needs to deal. You are an amazing person, and I hope that your day today is better!!!
Like Dorey said…. it wasn’t about your hair. If you liked it before he unloaded on you…. go to the salon and tell them you like it, your husband had no business calling them. If you didn’t like it, go to the salon and tell them you don’t like it, and your husband had no business calling them. Sometimes men can be such asses! YIKES! Here’s a hug, honey. ((HUG)) Sorry you got hurt.
What everyone of these ladies said is true. It is your hair…do with it as you please. Don’t let your husband’s attitude ruin your day. You are a good person and don’t need a man to validate you. God bless and I hope that today goes much better for you. Hugs and kisses.
U kno I once stood looking at a model’s hair on a bilboard outside a hairdressers …& a stranger walked passed me from behind & said - ur never going to look like that luv with a laugh! It was such a cruel comment - I shouted back at him - ur no oil painting urself ! The picture u put up are great by the way! On to U - ur hair - hell I go to a different hair dressers all the time, sometimes I come out looking good, the others crap - its an experiment -its healthy! U need to look good for yourself, not ur hubby or society - you need to feel good in your skin , your hair. I know lots of men who love brunette hair (sexy & intelligent), brown eyes ( cute, deep) and as for beeing out of shape - walk about with confidence - it gives off the most amazing aura to people! I kno what its like for people close to you putting you down - thing is your trying - changing your hair, working out - they should admire that - that’s important. Look after yourself!
Breathing…….. We have all had similar days. Though right now I hope you can muster up the insight to feel you and all the good that is YOU. We must not let others bring us down. Please do not give your husband or anyone this power. As a new buddy who does not really know you but sees what a terrific spirit you have here, PLEASE treat yourself like the lady you are and really feel it. Do something nice for yourself.
Maybe a talk is in order to discuss that somethings, some words are hurting. I think sometimes things happen in relationships and maybe things go unknown because of a lack of communication. Things will work out for the best. But this I know, WE MUST begin the process of loving ourselves.
I am sorry I have not responded to your blogs for so long. I just did the old deleting of many old subscriptions and finally added my 5 newest buddies. Luckily you are such a popular gal
You know you have our support here, but now why not give yourself the love. hehe… It is tough and for me it comes and goes, but I just want to give you a big hug. *HUGS*
Hope you have a good weekend Chrisie.
And P.S.: There are men out there who LOVE brunettes with hearts of gold, so ever wish to be blonde and something else. I would pick being brunette with a little auburn ANYDAY. Note…that hair color in my pic, NOT my actual color.
*so NEVER wish to be blonde…..
I’m sorry you had a rough day today. I know that feeling of inadaqacy all too well. Men do not understand sometimes. Why is it they like to confront and complain? I don’t understand them most days.
I hope you are having a better day today.
Big hugs to you.
((hugs)) I understand the feelings of disapproval and rejection - i hope today is much better
Thank you everybody…
I just sat here and cried as I read what you all wrote. I am not sure what is going on with me…just been hurt so much…I wonder, will I ever be able to believe I am ok…the way I am.
Called a school that does hair, and they are going to call me back…and see if they can help me. I just want to go to sleep and I have to work again tonight…
So sorry to hear about this. Might be that your husband reacted so strongly because he’s stressed about the job interview. Either way, don’t let his reaction to you validate you. It was very harsh how he treated you, and no matter the reason, you deserve better. *HUGS*
I don’t really know you or your husband, so I cant really give you any real advice…..but I can give you a great big cyber hug and tell you that you are not alone, and you have a community of people here you support you and believe in you no matter what!
ok…I am better now! Hubby and I talked. He really was trying to help me and be my hero. I was hurt A LOT before him…and tend to be a little hyper sensitive!
Oh well…we are better! AND tonight I worked at an art show…and a lady came in with the exact hair color that I want…AND she gave me the name of her stylist! God is good! Thank you to everyone that prayed. YOU Guys are the best!