What was I thinking????  I wasn’t…I was feeling:)

I was watching Bruce Almighty, as I was wogging…and there are some parts of it that are very touching to me.   I know it is not biblical…but there are some truths in it that with make you think…

His girlfriend has to walk away from him…when she realises just how self absorbed he is.  Her disapointment, because she really loves him. 

Bruce: Behind every great man… is a woman rolling her eyes

The part where they are in the playground…and he is trying to MAKE her love him.  Not knowing, that even God can’t make people love them–because He gave them a free will.  We love, because we choose to love(and because He first loved us).

Bruce: How do you make so many people love you without affecting Free Will?
God: [snorts] Heh, welcome to my world, son. If you come up with an answer to that one, let me know.

But the part that made me cry…was the part where he repents…that always gets me.  When he taps into his girlfriend’s prayers and he sees her crying out to God and he realises what a shmuck he has been…and he goes walking in the rain…where he cries out and repents.   Then he gets hit by a truck. 

God: Grace. You want her back?
Bruce: No. I want her to be happy, no matter what that means. I want her to find someone who will treat her with all the love she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now, through Your eyes.
God: Now THAT’S a prayer.

BUT then God sends him back.  And that last scene…where he is being himself…and not trying to be something that he isn’t, and something that God doesn’t want him to be…but just being who he was created to be.  And the look on his girl’s face…well, it is priceless.

God: Bruce, you have a divine spark. You have a gift for bringing joy and laughter to the world. I know, I created you.
Bruce: Quit bragging.

As I was watching this, I was so into it…I started crying.  I mean I had to stop myself, and remember where I was!   Only glad that my face was already wet and red from the workout!  So maybe no body would notice.

God: People want me to do everything for them. What they don’t realize is that they have the power. You want to see a miracle? Be the miracle.

Enough of that…

today I biked for 15, wogged for 45 and then did the stair machine for 15.  I am tired tonight…and on my way to bed. 

Noticed today that I am having a harder time getting my heart rate up…guess that is good news…just need to increase the intensity…AND lift weights!   I want to run a 5k…will I ever be able to do it!??  I wore my shirt from the 5k I did in June tonight to the gym…and I was thinking…NEXT year…I am going to run the whole way!!!

Tomorrow (Thurs) I am going back to the construction worker to get my hair colored…hoping and praying it will look good when he is finished!

This is the color we had talked about…starting with the first and working my way up to the second pic.

Using my natural color for the darkest color and adding midtones and highlights.   What do you think?

Gotta work again today…and hubby has 2 interviews!!!!  One today and tomorrow.  He has not had a job since December, so it has been a faith walk for me for a couple of months now.  Trusting God…

I am working again today at the camp.  It is easy work…although hard for me at times to separate my faith from what I do.  I feel like sometimes the rocks might cry out…

Feel sure that one day I will be able to incorporate who I am with what I do (like with little Tiffany:)  Thanks to everyone that commented.  It blessed me…

Anyway, I have to get ready pronto…need to be there in 36 mins…and still no shower:O!!!   Where does the time in the morning go!  

Have a great day everyone!

Oh no….now it is 34 mins!

Tonight at the community center, there were a bunch of kids there.  This one little girl came in and all the other kids started making fun of her.  It was just mean the way they treated her.  Laughing and taunting.  Making fun of her, who she was and how she was dressed.  Then one of them said, “she is so weird, and she cuts herself, y’know?” 

Oh my…

My heart started aching for this young girl.  What could I do in the short time I had to make a difference in her life?

Starting praying. 

Later she came up to the front again, and they began to verbally abuse her…I told them to stop…that it wasn’t ok to treat anyone like that.   They dispersed…

Then I called her over.  “Your name is Tiffany?”  “yes”…

and it went from there.  I asked her if she liked art…and she told me her dad was an artist.  I said, do you like to draw…and she said yes…do you have any drawings with you…you could show me?  Again yes…and she darted off. 

She came back in a hurry with a spiral notebook in her hands.  So, I invited her to come behind the counter with her notebook and she started sharing it with me.  It was so special.  As she turned the pages, I was also looking at her, really looking closely.  She had a black bow in her hair, with white polka dots.  A t-shirt with a kitty on it that said something about nice and evil.  A jacket with pictures black and white too…with an expression of evil and cute all at the same time.   The jacket was hooded, which covered her flowing braids that fell to her shoulders, with cute little kitty ears on top of her head.

While I was studying her…I saw her arms.  They were scarred with stripes going this way and that way.  I said, “What is that?”  And she said, “It is a long story.”  We talked and shared some more and then all of a sudden she told me.  “I have SI.”  “Self Infliction.”  “I cut myself.”

I told her…that was ok.  It just meant she was trying to express something…and she just needed to learn to do it on paper, not herself.  She smiled. 

Shared my art with her and gave her some pointers.  Talked about how art was a great way to express what you are feeling inside, without hurting anyone. 

Just wanted to cry.  To hold her and make the pain I could feel inside of her go away.  I was totally feeling her hurt.  All the rejection…all the pain.  The self-hatred this young 13 year old carried in her was almost more than I could take.

I just happened to bring my laptop to work, so I could download some pictures I had taken…so I began showing them to her…she really perked up when she saw my kitty.  She wants one really badly. 

I prayed quietly, in the spirit, as she sat beside me.  I felt God moving on her behalf.  She lightened up.  Smiled and laughed…it was a joy to be able to share a little of what God has given me with her.

I wanted to take her home with me…to tell her how precious she was…how special and what a delight she is to God.

Her parents finshed their activities and came up to the front desk.  They both were curious why her daughter was sitting with me behind the desk.  And I told them we were talking art…and that I used to teach.  I showed them my website and they complimented me.   I just sorta blurted out, as we were talking….”You have a very special young lady right here.   She is precious.  I wish I was still teaching, cause I would let her come for free.”  And then I had the thought.  “Why don’t I give you my phone number, and if you’d like, she could come to my house and have a couple private lessons for free?”  “If you’d be comfortable with that.”   I also said, “I think she needs a friend.”  and her dad said, “We all need those.” 

She had to leave and I asked her for a hug.   It reminded me of a stray kitten we once took in.  He was so awkward when we first tried to pet him…He didn’t know how to act…and would meow and meow…wanting so badly to be able to trust and let us love him….but had a hard time letting himself recieve it. 

So…the ball is in their court…and I pray they will let me love on her.  She is such a beautiful young lady and she just needs someone to help her see herself the way that God does.   Will you pray with me for her…?

I worked today for 4 hours at the camp, then I will go back tonight to the community center for another 4 hours…getting ready to take a nap.  I am tired.

It is so much harder to plan for my exercise…and meals when I am on the go like this.  I can’t imagine if I still had kids too.  Some of the counselors invited me for lunch…pizza.  And I said…YES??? (but it was good…and I had the cals for it:)  Even though I HAD planned to walk…

 At the camp…the moms come and line their cars up to pick up and drop off their kids…

Makes me think about all the moms out there, juggling it all.  Especially those that work too. 

AND wanting to give a special shout out to all the single moms here! 

My hat is off to you today and my hand is over my heart.  Being a working single mom is HARD…and sometimes very lonely!   I used to eat to cope with the stress…not the best choice.  Just remember to be good to you too!

oh yeah….

Me and the scale are butting heads, we have locked horns.  It has become an all out war! 

But, I don’t care anymore.  Don’t worry…I am not saying uncle…no not that…but I have decided, I am going to be even more stubborn than my stupid scale.  If it is going to play like that…then I am too! 

Yep…I am going to keep at it.  I am hard-headed and tired of waiting on the scale to move again…so I am just going to keep on doing what I have been doing.   Weigh, wog, log, blog…rinse and repeat.

This morning I got up and felt skinny.  Seriously…my tummy was much flatter.  But am I skinny?  no…but I felt like I was. 

 What did that one guy used to say, it is better to look mahvelous than to feel mahvelous?

…well, I disagree.  I think feeling better is MUCH better.

• I have decided I feel better, physically and emotionally.
• My measurements are smaller.
• I feel more confident.
• My health has become important to me.
• I like to exercise…it makes me feel more alive, young and invigorated (not to mention what it has done for my love life:)
• I enjoy eating the right amounts of healthy foods and feel bad when I over indulge in bad foods.

For now, I suppose, I just have to trust the process…the metamorphosis.  I am like the butterfly in the crysalis, changing inside…even though I can’t see all the changes YET:)

Today I am in a reflective mood…feeling close to God.  I know I always am, ’cause He says…”He will never leave me, or forsake me.”  And that NOTHING will ever separate me from His LOVE…but…I don’t always feel close to Him.  Today, I do. 

Worked at the summer camp again today.  It was water fun day…and I stayed dry.  Brought my camera, for fun…and my workout clothes so I could walk afterwards.  The camp is being held where I love to walk.  So…I had no excuse not to.  

There is a young girl that works at the camp, and I know her mom.  Found out, she was hurt by someone very close to her when she was young.  And she is hungry for God.  She is looking for Him…  I know this…I feel it when I am around her.  She is drawn to me…and she likes me.  It’s got to be God’s favor…   I have been praying for this young lady, since I heard what happened to her.  Praying for her mom, cause she too has been hurt beyond what words could express.  Praying that the hunger in them both would be satisfied.  Not with religion, new age hog wash, good works, a church…or counseling…but by the Living Savior Jesus Christ.  I know that He alone can satisfy every longing in their hearts. 

After the camp this young lady said she wanted to talk and she started talking about the kids and how sad it was that one day, some of them would do drugs, and others would have sex…lose their innocence.   Our talk was cut short…but I have a feeling we will talk again.  She is so hungry for Him…for the innocence that she has lost…that was stolen from her.

So I was off to do my walk…my regular walk…but today, there was something different.  Someone, for some reason had tied white ribbons here and there along the trail.  My creative mind started thinking…hmmm…I wonder what these are about?    Maybe someone is going to propose marriage today?  Maybe he will lead her along the path and comment on the ribbons and the last one they come to will have a box, with a ring…and he will bend his knee…?

I don’t know.  But, I do know…it was beautiful…  Someone had taken time to put these ribbons here and there…and I just knew it was for a special reason…so someone was going to be blessed.  It made me giggly….just thinking about it. 

I was about 9 mins into my walk when I saw a squirrel.  He came right up to me…about 3 inches from my foot.  He was asking me for food…he was hungry.  He wanted me to feed him.  But I didn’t have anything.   I knew back where the camp had been…there might be something that one of the kids left behind.  He was so precious and cute…persistently following me.  Well…I couldn’t take it anymore,  I turned around and went back to see if I could find something for him.  Besides, I’d already had the thought that I should have taken my camera with me anyway.   

Sure enough, when I got back to the shelter…there was a ziplock left on the table with 2 little pieces of apple in it.   I got my camera, and started off on the trail again.   As I walked along, I saw birds, dragonflies, a lizard, turtles, a yellow butterfly…(when I saw the yellow butterfly…I just thought of my new friend…and prayed for her.  I said, Lord, let her be like that butterfly…completely free!!!) …and then, another butterfly came. 

He was so beautiful…blue and orange.  Flying all around me.  Here and there…like he was following me.  I started crying.  I really felt like God had sent that little guy around me to say…”I love you”.  He was like those white ribbons I was seeing all along the way.  My Lover did this…just for me… 

As I was walking, taking it all in…I was being wooed by the Creator.  He was caressing me with His beautiful artwork.  Hugging me, with the trees…and whispering sweet nothings through the colors in the sky. 

The worship music on my Mp3 player brought tears to my eyes…the first was, Back in His arms again…

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6oS8Ycdztg&feature=related

It is about…knowing that God is always there…and His arms are always open. 

And the other was You’ll Never Thirst Again…it is about a woman, at a well who is thirsty...John 4:4

http://youtube.com/watch?v=aqf_ihpUH3U&feature=related

Jesus says to her…Whoever drinks this water will get thirsty again;
But anyone who drinks the water that I shall give
will never be thirsty again:
The water that I shall give
will turn into a spring inside welling up to eternal life.

He then said…go get your husband.  She said, I don’t have one.  He said that is right, you have had 5…and the one you have now…isn’t even your husband.  Her thirst was exposed.  And she said…Give me that water!  Then she ran to tell everyone about this man that had given her Living Water! 

So…I today I want to ask…

What are you thirsty for?  What is the hunger in your heart?  Are you hungry for love, acceptance, innocence, purpose, significance, joy, peace, restoration, relationship, healing…??? No matter what your thirst or hunger is…HE CAN HELP YOU!!!! 

I believe that God is leaving ribbons all the time…love letters to each of us…He wants to propose, and make us His bride.  Woo us with His Love and goodness.   Take us along the path and point out the ribbons of love He has so carefully placed there.

He is like that. 

And I can say…from experience…knowing Him is better that any meal…or drink or water from a well…

He is Satisfying.  Ultimately.  Filling…and yummy.  Good…and wholesome.  Thirst quenching.   Living and full of LOVE.

Why not give Him a chance to woo you….to call you to come to Him so He can hold you and fill you…so you will never hunger or thirst again! ???

Seek Him and you WILL find Him! 

That is a promise! 

Make a Smilebox slideshow

These are just some of the pictures from my walk…hope you enjoy them!

Today I walked outside at the park…getting my workout groove back. 

http://lakepine.blogspot.com/2008/05/snoozing-in-water.html  Just found this blog about the place I walk…how cool is that?

Anyway…it was cooler here…but oh my…the humidity was intense…you could cut it with a knife!  All you southern belles know what I am talking about!  Can I get a “yeah y’all?’

It was nice to be outside…but I could have done without all the sweating…it was just plain icky.

Afterwards, husband and I went grocery shopping…we were having fun, until…  How is it that things can turn sour in just a moment? 

Enough about that…

Gotta work tomorrow…bright and early.  Helping with a summer camp!  I am looking forward to it…just being with all the kids!

Just want to say again….how blessed I am by all of you here…what a gift this is!  To be able to connect with others, with similar goals…and wisdom to share!  People that pray, and people that care.  Some that are just starting and others who have been there…done that.   It just means so much to me…to know that if I slip off the path, you are here to say…hey…this is the way…now (get off that couch and) walk in it!

About 9:30pm…I was in bed, on my laptop.  Reading blogs, and comments…when I decided I was hungry.  Got up, went into the kitchen and grabbed a couple of grapes…and then all of a sudden…it hit me, like a lightning bolt. 

I want to go to the gym.  I want to workout!   My BS buddies and their prayers had grabbed a hold of me and pulled me out of my funk!!!  Woop woop.

So I got dressed…FAST…and went.   It was raining…been storming all night.  Lots of lightning.

I didn’t know what to expect.   After a week of rest and in the wake of TOM…I was afraid and preparing myself mentally…it is ok…just do the best you can.  Thinking I had probably slipped all the way back down the mountain.

So I got on the treadmill and started wogging to week one of the podrunner.   It was easy.  Seriously.  I was surprised!!!

Sooooo….I just kept on wogging…after 2 miles…I said, I think I will wog some more and what the hay, why don’t I just go ahead do a 5k and call it my own race for the cure, for my lazy butt…dedicated to my buds at BS: )   I felt like Forrest…run Chrisie…run!

I just know it was them prayers!  I felt them….I really did.  THANK YOU!!!!!

AND Jillian’s advice was good.  My legs felt strong!  Not tired…rested and rearing to go!  Measured my calves this week and they have gotten 2 inches bigger…each!  Can you say MUSCLE!

When I got back home, I couldn’t wait to tell all of you, so I got online…AND wouldn’t you know it…one of my buddies had sent me a booster…and it was a rainbow…

Thought I’d send you a Rainbow to tide you over till you are able to find your own.
 A rainbow a beach and an ocean. Does it get anymore perfect than that?

God is good…all the time…all the time….God is good!

Love you all…and so grateful for each and EVERYONE of you!!!!!!!

I just called the researchers and told them…I took a break.  No writing, no exercise…no diary for them this week.  I dreaded it.  Didn’t want to call them and confess it.  It is embarrassing.  A 45 year old woman acting like a toddler in her terrible 2’s.  I wanted my will back.  I didn’t want to do the work any more.   Knew that once I made the call, then it was official, I’d HAVE to get back into the game.  They were encouraging…saying I have done so much and worked so hard that they are sure I will not give up now.  But…that is a fear of mine…I have been a quitter in the past.

My weight is the same, and my period is starting to go finally…so I am set now to start again.  I had planned to yesterday…but TOM had me down for the count…and I just stayed in bed all day.  Worn out…physically, emotionally.

Will I do it today?  At this point…I really can’t say.  I hope so, it is a record high here…but I have a gym membership…so I don’t really have an excuse.

I am dealing with some personal stuff too.  Trying to sort it all out.  Need a full time job, and having problems in my marriage. 

Want to make good decisions…and do the right thing!  If you think about it, will you pray for me–for wisdom and God’s will?   Thanks!

11 Delicious Treats Under 50 Calories!

posted @6:00am ET on July 21, 2008

Just because you are watching your weight doesn’t mean you have to say farewell to the occasional sweet treat — especially when your treat weighs in at 50 calorie or less!

Sink your teeth into these simple, yet satisfying snacks:

1. Fruit Bars! They’re a healthy alternative to the sugary Popsicle. Several companies put out bars made of fruit juice and/or fruit pulp without added sugar. Check your grocer’s freezer.

2. Cinnamon Sugar Popcorn! Make four cups of popcorn and put it in a bowl. Add three packets of Splenda or Equal, one teaspoon of cinnamon, one tablespoon of light brown sugar, and one melted tablespoon of a zero-calorie butter substitute. Mix it all up and you have four servings of one delicious snack — perfect for sharing with family or friends.

3. Root Beer Float! Fill a tumbler about three quarters of the way with diet root beer, then drop in a quarter cup of light vanilla ice cream. It tastes darn close to the “real thing!”

4. Eight Large Strawberries! If unadulterated strawberries aren’t sweet enough for you, cut it back to five, and cover them with two teaspoons of confectioner’s sugar. Either way, you’re looking at only around 45 to 49 calories.

5. Jelly Toast! It’s not just for breakfast anymore! Toast a slice of whole grain bread and coat with that zero-cal butter substitute. Spread a teaspoon of your favorite jam or jelly on it.

6. Gelatin! There’s always room for gelatin… pick a flavor, any flavor. It’s surprisingly filling, and only about 10 to 40 calories, depending on the brand.

7. A Medium-Sized Peach! We’re talking around 38 calories, plus you get some fiber and vitamins. And here’s a great little variation to just eating it: cut the peach in half and grill it. You’ll caramelize the natural sugars, and it tastes great.

8. Five Maraschino Cherries! Give the sundaes to the kids and keep the cherries for yourself. They’re a savory sweet special treat.

9. Pudding! Get a sugar-free, fat-free pudding mix, and make it with skim milk. You can add a little Splenda if you want it sweeter.

10. Two Large Marshmallows! If you want to scorch ‘em with a lighter and pretend you’re camping, go right ahead. Or eat just one coated with chocolate syrup.

11. Watermelon! It just wouldn’t be summer without watermelon. One cup of sweet watermelon chunks equals 50 calories, not counting the seeds.

BONUS TREAT: A Medium-Sized Tomato! Slice it up and sprinkle lightly with your favorite seasoning. Refreshing and delicious… and just 35 calories.

The Write Man For The Job
by John McGran, Diet.com Chief Editor