Becoming a Butterfly

This is a good scripture.  Something I have been thinking about a lot lately.

Keeping the faith and trusting the truth, when it is hard to see.  I heard an analogy once about a pilot in a cloud, flying without any outward signs of the direction, orientation or location of the plane…His only choice is to learn to stay the course.  Rely on his instruments.  Trust and believe…by faith.

Weight loss is similar…truth is, if we do the stuff…the weight will come off. 

My lesson for this week from the research folk talks about “extreme thinking” and remaining “positive” in our thoughts.

There’s a battlefield between our ears…to silence the voices that tell us “to give up, stop trying, it doesn’t matter, it’s too hard, it isn’t working anyway…there’s no use, I’ll never get there…might as well not exercise, or go ahead and eat that….”

It is a battle to keep the faith when we are eating less, moving much more, finally loving exercise and eating right…AND nothing seems to be changing.

But there IS a change happening, it is a substance of things hoped for, an evidence of things not seen…it is internal, it is by faith. 

Like the butterfly, within the crysalis, in the darkness, the unknowing, it has to wait and trust and have faith that there is a purpose for this death, and that change is coming…and it IS happening. 

It takes a faith to lose this weight.  When the scale knocks the wind out of your sails…or you see others just losing weight so quickly…it is hard to find the motivation to continue…

But remember.  If you do the stuff…follow your course, keep your eye on the horizon, take your thoughts captive and walk by faith, you CAN and you WILL make it to your destination!

Thank you Jane for this perfect booster: )

AND I am going to go for a walk later with my husband (hopefully) to try and get 30 more mins of walking in.

Was able to run a lot of the time on the treadmill…getting faster too…but for some reason, my feet were hurting…still are!On the elliptical too.    Maybe it was working all day today…or just that I am still very overweight!

Just wish I could lose 50 pounds quickly so exercising wouldn’t be so hard on my feet!  

Worked from 9-6 today…it was ok.   I think the honeymoon is over…

There is one lady that I work with that talks about the director all the time.  Actually, everyone does.  Found out today he has Parkinsons…and so he is on medication…and it makes him space out, even fall asleep during meetings.

He is a very accomplished man, but close to retiring.  This woman wants his job…and our boss, (who also talks about this man all the time) thinks this woman can do it…

BUT…in my spirit…it bothers me.  I don’t trust someone that talks about someone behind their back…especially if they want their job.  It just makes me very uneasy!   I want to avoid this woman…but she is in the Cultural Art Center, the very place that I’d like to work.

I just don’t feel safe around her…like anything I say will be repeated…or used against me!  Y’know what i mean?

Been dreaming about my own business today.  I love photography, and I have done portrait photography.  Plus I am a portrait artist (that is one of my portaits).  Thinking I’d love to have my own studio.  Someplace to be creative…and grow a clientelle.  I have a way with people and an eye for it.  When I did it before, people would request me, and I had one of the highest averages for sales.

Used to dream about my own school of the arts.  I finally did do that, but it was nothing like what I invisioned.   I had to travel from location to location…and carry my supplies in and out.  I wanted a place to have classes…with a theatre and stuff.

Maybe one day!  Still dreamin’: )

Father’s Love Detail                Pastel 11″ x 14″

No exercise again today.  But less food…and carbs…much less…

Last night was full of drama here…

My hubby let the kittie, Maestro (we finally decided…and then thought about houdini for a while: ) out and he got away last night…so I was up all night worried…

He finally came home at noon.  I thought he was gone for good.  Husband didn’t know to watch him when he goes out to play.  He felt so bad about it.

So…I went to bed after the kitty came home.

Had dinner when I got up and not much else, and I gotta go back to bed…cause I have to work tomorrow.  So…there is no time for exercise.

The scale was kind to me today.  Only 2 lbs up…which is really good considering the carb fest I had yesterday…and the weird sleep schedule.

Tomorrow it will probably be back down since I didn’t eat too much today!   I gotta get with it…

One of my buds here sent me her food plan for my body type and I am going to do it within my guidelines, cause she is inspirational!  Her graph looks like mount everest!!!!  Thank you friend: )  Hopefully that will help me refocus!

AND tomorrow I ALREADY wrote in my food/exercise diary…in ink…I will exercise for 70 mins!!!   That’s a commitment!

Have a great weekend everyone!

This is what I need…

at least three adjectives to describe these things…

1.  Your favorite color     ex:  Purple, majestic, soothing and fun

2.  Your favorite animal     ex:  Butterfly, joyful, beautiful and playful

3.  Describe the ocean  ex: rythmic, intense and a wonder

4.  How you would feel if you were in a white room with no windows or doors and you were dressed all in white?:  ex  Peaceful, calm and curious

Ok…that is it…just give your answers and then email me and I will tell you what it means…

If you have done it before…no spoiling it for everyone else!

Should be fun!

I have just noticed, that when I do not sleep well…I get a little compulsive with the carbs…ok…ok…not a little…a lot.

Today was a carb fest for me.  Truly…

not pretty.

Toast in the morning, crackers mid-morning, pretzels with lunch, pasta AND bread for dinner…all washed down with sweet tea…yes that is sugar in there.

I am seriously in a carb stupor right now.  AND I am sleepy.    AND I had no desire to move my body

…as in NO exercise today…

This is the very first day I have not written everything down.  I was just too tired to care.  or in denial…or just making excuses…

whatever…

I just know that lack of sleep = carb compulsions…and it is dangerous…very, very dangerous!

ma’m….step away from the carbs…drop the bread…no, put away the pasta…

With that I will say…good night and tomorrow is a new day!

Been wondering what to blog today…nothing really there…

But, I just talked to my sister on the phone, and she met with the ladies that worked with her and the woman that died from cancer, Nancy, that I mentioned in an earlier post. 

She died of breast cancer…after a long battle.  She really was a special lady! 

They talked about memories and things they had done in the past together…

Her sister was there for her from beginning to end, and sent my sister an email of the song they played at her funeral.   My sister opened it and let me hear it while I was on the phone.

I knew then…I had to share it…

These are the words…and here is a link if you’d like to hear it!   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knm492yxMfo

Really like the chorus…and it is my prayer for all of you today!  That we will all find our wings–and become the beautiful butterflies we were created to be!

Mark Harris - Find Your Wings
From the album The Line Between The Two

It’s only for a moment you are mine to hold
The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers I’ll pray
For all that you might do
But most of all I’ll want to know
You’re walking in the truth
And If I never told you
I want you to know
As I watch you grow

Chorus:
I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I’m here for you whatever this life brings
So let GOD’S love give you roots
And help you find your wings May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh, but more than memoriesChorus:

I am down another pound for a total of 14 since I started…

AND I have reclaimed 5 pairs of shorts I haven’t worn for a couple of summers cause I couldn’t fit into them.

Woot Woot!

I had a stack that was waiting “until” I could wear them again…and I just decided to try them on…just to see, and put them away again …when to my great astonishment.  They fit!!!  Wow…I haven’t lost that much…but I think the wogging is paying off…cause I have definitely lost some inches!!!

There’s only one more left pair taunting me…but I will conquer him too!

AND a couple of shirts hanging in the closet that are just a little too snug, but I know THEY will be mine again soon…then before I know it…I will have to go to the store and get all new stuff…’cause nothing I have will fit anymore!!!

 Is there something you want to reclaim?  Something hanging in your closet to inspire you to come and get it!?  Or is there something you dream of sporting one day!?

My husband and I never had a wedding ceremony…we just eloped…I hope one day, I can wear a wedding dress and have the wedding I have always dreamed of…

A while ago, my husband bought me a tennis skirt…and my hope is to one day wear it on the tennis court and feel comfortable…

…and I have a full length fitted black dress that I used to look like da bomb in…and I am keeping it (it’s probably vintage by now: )…because I really want to wear it….just one more time…maybe on my honeymoon!

Hey!  I got a mio wristwatch heart monitor…and I use it when I walk and stuff.

It is acting kooky…I just changed the battery and I thought that would fix it…but alas…it hasn’t.  In the middle of my walks, it likes to reset itself…frustrating…cause then I have to re-enter it all over again….

It is still under warranty so I am thinking about sending it back, but just wanted to see what everyone else uses.  I like not having to use the chest band…and I think I prefer the wristband…but am open to suggestions!

I saw one that will actually track your route for you and then you can download it to a program on your computer…does anyone have one of those!?

Thanks!

For me to truly love and appreciate who I am, I need…

For me to believe in my heart that I am worthy of being loved, whether I am thin or not, I must…

For me to become more open and loving to others, I need to…

These are from a book I am reading:  Losing Weight Permanently…

Read it today at the courthouse…while I was waiting to see if I had to sit on a jury.  Thought it was interesting…

How would you answer one or all of them?

 Jury duty is over…I didn’t have to be part of a jury this time…

Had a great conversation with my table mates.  We all had to lay our hands on the bible and swear by it….and it was sitting right there between all of us.   So, our conversation kept coming back to it.

There was this one guy there and God was talking to me about him (yes, I believe He talks to me: ) I heard the Lord say he had a call on his life and he was raised without a father.    So in the course of the conversation…I asked, and he said it was true. 

We had talked a little about my husband’s situation, and how I believe part of the problem is because he has not submitted to the call of God in his life..he is running.   So, I asked him if he knew that he was called to do…and he said no.  I told him his mom knew what God was calling him to do…and he should call her and ask her.  He started laughing and said his mom had been telling him since he was little he was called to be a pastor: )  AND everyone in his church used to tell him that….Cool huh?   I encouraged him to stop running and step right into the will of God for His life…that things are best when we submit to God’s call.

Then I decided to stop by the farmer’s market on the way home and I had the best time.  Chatting with the farmers and picking up some veggies.  And some plants…in school I studied horticulture and still find it hard to resist buying a new special thing every now and then.

There I met a man that turned out to be a Christian too.  We started talking about horticulture postions I have held…and other jobs…and then I just said…Actually…I feel called to minister…so maybe God is just preparing me for that.   He said his son couldn’t decide between coaching or being a minister, so now he goes on missions trips…and does both.  I said, “my husband is called to missions…so I guess I am now too.   Maybe I could do art with children on missions trips?”

Then I told him what had just happened with the man at the courthouse, and he told me that he was trying to decide if he should volunteer to help on a missions trip to Kenya…and he ran into a woman from Kenya at the bank, just the other day…and now I was telling him this!   When I left, I said, “Have fun in Kenya…y’know you are going to just wish you had done it sooner: )”

My next special gift was this young handsome man.  He reminded me of my son.  We chatted briefly while I looked at his plants and then I left to go get some lunch.  I went to the Farmer’s market restaurant, and I had a fresh veggie plate…omg…it was good, AND a biscuit (so yummy, but a bad choice–I haven’t even looked up the fat grams yet: ). 

And who walks in and sits right beside me at the counter, but the same young man…and guess what…?   In our conversation I mentioned that I was a believer….and he starts talking about his bible study.   Turns out, he is the same age as my son.  When he left, I said, “keep doing things God’s way, and He will bless you”…and he said, “I am holding on to His promises.”

What a blessed day!

It was so peaceful and full of God’s grace. 

So thankful that He reminded me today what it means to be called of Him

that in Him there is fullness of Joy, Peace, Blessings…

that no place is better than in His perfect will…

that He is working all the time…

and once we are called, we have to stand fast in the work to which He has called us.

(sorry for the long blog….sometimes I just get started and it is a novelette when I am done: )

Call, Called of God, Calling

See also Authority; Choose, Chose, Chosen (verb); Chosen (adjective or noun); Ordain, Ordination; Steward, Stewardship

To be called of God is to receive an appointment or invitation from him or his duly authorized Church leaders to serve him in a particular way.