Regret
re·gret
// /rɪˈgrɛt/ verb, -gret·ted, -gret·ting, noun
–verb (used with object)
1. to feel sorrow or remorse for (an act, fault, disappointment, etc.): He no sooner spoke than he regretted it.
2. to think of with a sense of loss: to regret one’s vanished youth. –noun
3. a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc.
4. a feeling of sorrow or remorse for a fault, act, loss, disappointment, etc. [Origin: 1300–50; ME regretten (v.) < MF regreter, OF, equiv. to re- re- + -greter, perh. < Gmc (cf. greet2)
—Related forms
re·gret·ter, noun
re·gret·ting·ly, adverb
—Synonyms 1. deplore, lament, bewail, bemoan, mourn, sorrow, grieve. Regret, penitence, remorse imply a sense of sorrow about events in the past, usually wrongs committed or errors made. Regret is distress of mind, sorrow for what has been done or failed to be done: to have no regrets. Penitence implies a sense of sin or misdoing, a feeling of contrition and determination not to sin again: a humble sense of penitence. Remorse implies pangs, qualms of conscience, a sense of guilt, regret, and repentance for sins committed, wrongs done, or duty not performed: a deep sense of remorse.
—Antonyms 1. rejoice. 4. joy.
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Today, full of regret. Woke up regretting. Regretting decisions from my past. Regret not listening to good counsel and listening to bad advice. Regretting letting myself go, gaining so much weight. Regretting so much that I have missed out on because of…my weight, my fear, doubt, self-hatred…etc.
Regret.
What do you do with it? Where do you put it? It makes me anxious just thinking about it. I can feel my heart begin to start beating faster…as I recall my foolishness.
Today, on my walk, I listened to a song my son sent me Sunday night. He sang it and recorded it for me. It is so beautiful…I was crying as I was walking…remembering all the walks he and I had taken there. I was always in a hurry. Being a single mom…I could never relax. I was “rushing” all the time…trying to get it all done. My son turned 18 and left home last year. I miss him. I mean…I ache to see him and hug him. We were…and are still very close, but it will never be like it was when he lived here with me. He has left the nest…and my arms are empty. I wish I would have, could have, should have….
but I didn’t and now I can’t.
Praying for peace.
How do I forgive myself for so many mistakes?
How can I stop looking back at the wake of my mistakes, too many to count? Thinking about what could have been if only I had…
I know God forgives me…but I am still sad about so much that is lost.
Sorry for the “heavy” post…but, I am just being real. :cry:
It’s only natural, but it stinks. I waste so much time on regrets. It’s so important to look forward and not back. We can only change our futures not our pasts (well unless you’re a really good storyteller
).
Okay momma eagle I know its hard but chicklets do not learn to fly just sitting around the nest while you cater to their every need. They learn by watching you fly. Your son learned how to grow up and be on his own by watching you do all the things that one must do to take care of ones family. Sure you miss him, but if he is smart and loving enough to send you a song well you must have spent enough quality time with him, cause he grew up to be a good person. If we dont make mistakes we dont grow. You are being way to hard on yourself. -Dee
That Dee is one smarty chickie, listen to her good advice and know that kids are usually way more forgiving of parental mistakes than we could ever hope for, especially when they were REALLY loved and I know your son was, so don’t be fretting, instead write him a song! Bet ya could cause you are a fine writer!
I’am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason! Only God knows the answers. It has only made you a stronger person! I think you need to ask God to help you forgive yourself for those things that are still a burden on your heart. After you have truely forgiven yourself, you will have peace! Good Luck!
Try and spend time thinking about all the memories that make you feel happy. You are clearly a very loving and amazing mom just from the fact that he was so sweet as to write you a song
It must be HARD work bringing him up alone but you have done an incredible job and it is obvious to everyone but you how much you mean to him.
I’m 18 too, we still rely on you parents a bit really lol. Always be there for him and focus on the many happy years you will spend enjoying a little more time for you and to create some fabulous new memories with your wonderful son.
Good luck with everything chrisie x
If God can forgive us, then we can forgive ourselves. You talk about regrets, but in this blog I read how close you and your son still are. He sang and recorded and sent you a song. You must have done something right as a mother for him to do that for you… Please don’t focus on what you didn’t do… focus instead on what you DID do. I know you must miss him, but you spent years preparing him for this time in his life, so let go and I promise you he knows you are still there for him. We never really COMPLETELY let go… we will be mothers for the rest of our life. It is a job that has no end.
And just so you know… mistakes happen to teach us and help us to grow stronger and wiser. We are human and we are not perfect.
Do not regret, K?
Hugggggggggggs,
Shan
You guys are so sweet and right. I got my coffee ready and sat down, I couldn’t wait to see if I had any comments…and yes…I did. The tears just started coming. I can’t tell you what it meant to read what each of you said.
I know that I was a good mom, just wish I’d done more, appreciated my time with him, complained less…y’know…stuff like that.
There are other things in my life…like my weight problem where I wonder, why did I do this to myself? Y’know? It is weird when you step back and look at it!
Anyway…thank you everyone for your LOVE…I feel it comin’ through my computer this morn”. (hugs): )
You are a great mom if you son who is 18 years old thinks of you enough to write you a song and is still close! Most of the 18 year olds I know are sooo busy with life and what they want they have no time for parents. You did something right!
Stay close and make somemore good memories with him and his new career/life and eventually Grandkids!
I agree with Shan Mistakes happen to teach us lessons and help us to grow. Only human we are not perfect. lord knows I am not….
Smiles
Tiffany
If you need a good cleansing cry you have one!
I’m sure you miss your son very, very much. I have only been a mommy for 7 years and I know very well that this is my life right now. Everything I do is centered around my kids. In about 18 years I might be going through the same pain. It’s sharing from mom’s that keeps me content in what I”m doing now (staying at home with my babes). You’ve just added to that. So I try to slow down and soak up the beauty of my little boys. They are such a gift. I can’t bear to think of the day I have to let go. I know I”ll have to trust God to take care of them. I know for a fact that I make mistakes every single day raising my boys. It’s who we are. No one expects us to be perfect.
Who knows, your son might think that you are! I send you a hugg! Remember that you are blessed with this over powering love for your son! I think being concerned about doing the right things as parents makes us good parents. If we were bad, we wouldn’t care!
feel better lil butterfly!
We all have things that we wish we could change in our lives, regrets that we need to live with, but they make us stronger and help us to grow into better people. Keep looking forward and realize that every hurtle is a life lesson. It sounds like your son grew up with love…your love and the love of God. You did great and it sounds like he knows that too!
I think regret will only keep you stuck in the parts of your life that you have in fact, overcome and moved on from. It’s so hard, isn’t it, to forgive oneself? The only advice I have is to offer your pain up to God, and maybe write down your regrets on a piece of paper and then burn it. I really think that a person’s true character comes out through adversity… what kind of person would you be if you never had anything to overcome? (very possibly a boring one, in my opinion.) You’ve achieved so much in having a wonderful, loving son and I think now it’s time to turn that love on yourself. I hope this helps, even if it’s only a little.
Engaging in regretting is like praying for bad things to continue.
Empty nest syndrome, middle age, etc… is it more about re-evaluating life and charging forward Chrisie? Allowing a different type of intimacy with your son when he doesn’t live with you?