Victory, sweet victory!
I have changed!!!! I mean this is a biggie for me! I have been noticing for awhile…but just kinda watching myself to see if it was real.
This is it: I have better boundaries with food. I can stop now when I am full/satisfied…and I can tell when it happens.
Ok…I know that may not seem like a big deal…but there was a time when I could not waste food, or stop even when I was full/done. Especially with sweets. For all this week I have not finished my dinner. I will fix my usual amount, but can only get 1/2 way through before I am done. I mean…I don’t want another bite! Yipeeeeeee! This is BIG for me!
Last night, it was late, my husband had gone to sleep…and I started thinking I’d like some ice cream. (Yes…I have it in my house…and it is the good kind too :wink: ) I put a small scoop in a coffee mug…with some whipped cream and started to enjoy it. I was about 3/4ths of the way through when it hit me. I don’t want anymore. It is starting to taste too sweet and I am not enjoying it anymore. I don’t want it!!!! WHAT???? Did I just think that????
I will take you back to the old me…so you can understand why this is a victory. I used to stress everytime I went to the store…telling myself…”Don’t get anything sweet…no ice cream…no candy…don’t go down that aisle.” You get the idea….but somehow the “bad” stuff always ended up in my cart. AND then…the real battle started. It would talk to me…no…it would SHOUT to me. “EAT ME!!!” Come and I will comfort you. I will take away the pain…
And I would fall for it everytime. I would eat a half a gallon of ice cream in 2 days. Sometimes 1 day. I am not joking. I would put nuts, chocolate syrup, whipped cream, marshmallow creme…you get the idea…I would completely lose myself in this ice cream. It wasn’t just ice cream…sometimes I would buy the Little Debbie cakes and eat the whole box in one day…or cookies…or bags of candy. Anything like that didn’t stand a chance around me. It was gobbled up…and I couldn’t/ wouldn’t stop myself. Christmas, Easter, valentines…were all times of struggle for me!
Well…not anymore. Nope. This is a new day for me. I have had the ice cream in my fridge for a week now and had 2 servings. WOW…I am changing.
I know some of you may not even buy stuff like that…or include it in your diet. Maybe one day I will do that…but for now, I want it around me. I want to learn to be “normal” with my food.
But my husband is helping me. This may seem strange, but we have all kinds of chocolates in my house…but I just don’t know where they are. My husband hides them for me. Weird? I guess, but it is working for me. I tell him when I want something sweet…and he gets me a couple of peices of chocolate. Sometimes he challenges me as to why I want it…and other times he says ok right away. But the good thing for me is…he is in control so I can rest in that. And be accountable. The chocolate is safe with him…and I am safe from the chocolate. It is teaching me to know when I have had enough. I really am satisfied with 2-3 peices. My stomach can’t taste the sweet anyway…so I try to take my time and savor it.
That way, I really am able to enjoy it. It isn’t a threat to me anymore…
But I am not perfect…I admit, one time I did try to find the hiding place…but couldn’t…and while I was looking for it, I had time to think about how ridiculous I was being. I stopped myself and asked…”what are you doing?” Sometimes when I am out, I will grab a sweet and have it…but, I try to just get one candy bar…instead of a whole bag. I try to think about it consciously and decide to have it….I am not perfect though…and sometimes I still get compulsive….but I am so much better!
I hope to one day have the chocolates someplace where I can get them if I want them, and eat them responsibly…I am just not there yet…but I am changing!
AND I will relish where I am for today…this is a victory, a sweet victory for sure!
That is awesome - food boundaries are so importants! Keep it up!
I am just figuring out my food boundries as well. I am just mastering it for once! Yay for you! Stopping when you are full. Last night I ate 2 pieces of pizza for dinner. I usually eat 4., I put them on my plate, ate 2 and sat there and debated with myself. Eating them would have been just to eat them not because I was still hungry. So yay for us!
You are doing SO well chrisie, you must be so proud :smile:. I am also doing an eating plan that lets me include those things in my diet, I think it is MUCH more likely to guarantee us success in the long run cuz we will get used to eating these things in moderation.
Great system you have set up with your hubby too, great to see he is supporting you and don’t worry hun you will see that day when you can have it near you, maybe even right in front of you and only eat it in moderation.
WE CAN DO IT
congratulations on your eating!!! I’m getting better at recognizing when I am satisfied vs. full but you sound as though you’ve developed that will-power that is born from self-knowledge and listening to your body.
Thanks everybody!!! I’m so glad you all understand why this is a big deal for me!!!!
We are all growing!
Here is the one WHO UNDERSTANDS. Binges and stuff. Chocolate, cakes, etc.. while nobody sees you.
Really, congrats. It takes a long time to start seeing food as something that does not control you anymore. You don’t have to hide or run away from ice cream because the ice cream monster would make you eat tons of it.
It’s so deceptively simple… eat and enjoy and stop when you don’t want it. It’s so wonderful to actually live this way and you are doing it.
OH MY GOODNESS!! I am SO with you. Honestly, I could’ve written this blog myself. (Except that I’m not creative enough to have put pictures in lol!!
) But seriously, I completely feel you and just wanted to say two things: 1. CONGRATS on making this amazing change!! I completely understand how huge it is!! And 2. This is an incredibly inspiring blog! Keep up the great work girl! You’re going to hit that goal in no time at all!! WOOT WOOT!!
LOVE THE BLOG….!
Soooo Happppy for you! I am starting to desire less food too. I will still sometimes overeat when I’m really hungry or really tired but I am learning and using these small victories and failures to work on my food issues. Compulsive eating is tough and it’s so easy for me to launch into that. I can’t have bad stuff around much, but I’m starting to bring in portion sizes because like you, I don’t want to eliminate things from my diet. I’ve tried that it just doesn’t work for me. When I go back to eating “normally” I go back to eating what I like, not what is good for me. So it’s better to learn to manage what you like from the beginning, IMH!